Five Get Invited to a Gypsy Wedding: The Sun

This is my Enid Blyton story that The Sun published a few weeks back. I loved reading Enid growing up, so to counteract my mischievous story-telling, here is a cute picture:

Prince William & Princess Catherine in Castle Location, Location!

Santander published an interesting report today; that if Prince William were to buy solely on his RAF wages of £37,170, he could afford to buy a pile in the region of £142,000. This is quite a challenging amount for any young couple, so for one-night I am going to be their Fairy Godmother. I am off in my pumpkin carriage, equipped with an iWand Right-Move App, step aside Kirsty and Phil, this is Castle Location, Location.

So what do we have to consider? I have made a shopping list for the regal yet modern two-some:

Being near the family.
Some sort of proximity to work?
Room for a family?
Near Boujis?
Grounds for hunting?

Let's go!

Windsor - £149,950

After extensive research (including dis-regarding a parking spot and a caravan), I found this 1 bed flat in Windsor. Obviously a great location, near Gran's for tea. It's a bit over budget, and perhaps a bit cramped for when Harry or Chelsy stay over after a big night out. The upside it is surrounded by greenery, and the locals would probably turn a blind eye to your shooting the local wildlife in return for your celebrity. I will go to the local council and see if we can get planning permission to paint the block pink and put on a turret on top. Let me get back to you about that...

Balmoral - £144,950

Really practical family home on the outskirts of your family's estate, this 3 bedroom house is a bargain! £20k has been knocked off for a quick sale. This potential castle, already comes with playground for the rich and famous, look at that slide and the small but brimming with character servants quarters.

Cornwall - £140,000

Surf's Up for you in this palatial 1 bedroom flat in Newquay You could kick back and enjoy facilities that your fore-father Henry VIII would be envious of. Moments from the beach, it features a communal (that means sharing with commoners) pool, sauna and gym. Chelsy would be all over this and Harry would love the local bar life. Only downside, your mother-in-law might stay a lot, she is the Duchess of Cornwall after all. It might be tight in that front room for a sofa bed...

Wales- £150,000

Near work, your RAF base in Anglesey, this eco-friendly Snowdonian Timber Lodge, would make your Dad proud. Guests may visit and mistake it for a hunting lodge and get lost looking for a bigger property, but who cares! Princess Catherine would look lovely waving from the balcony or even belting out 'Don't Cry for Me Snowdonians'....

Wales - £149,995

This is fairy Godmother's favorite Castle; a lovers hideaway that is perfect for avoiding prying eyes and would make any maker of a British rom-com film happy. Prince William, you can carry your Princess over the threshold to the Good Life, it just needs an Aga and chickens. Dad can come over and look after all those plants, Grandad can visit and insult the locals trying to pronounce their town Pontrhydygroes. What's not to love!?

SW1, London: £150,000

This ninth floor studio flat is in striking distance of Kate’s beloved Kensington, it features a big window to that is useful to observe one's subjects. This is lot better than lot of the options I found, including a garage. Perhaps if Princess Catherine grows her hair very long, Prince William can climb down it, it'd be a much nicer alternative to exiting the tower than the slightly shady looking stairwell.

So I hope you have enjoyed the round-up on Castle Location, Location. After some protracted phone-calls, in which I once or twice flounced into my Fairy Godmother Pumpkin, and then returned to a local pub. We managed to secure a very good price for the Lovers Hideaway Hooray! A Happy Ending to this Fairy-tale.

Credit Crunch: Taking the blame for everything lately

In the Times today, there is a page feature on the credit crunch. It contains a full on chart illustrating alarming rising costs and depressing consumer spending. What I find interesting is that if you turn over, there is a story on the Max Mosley case and it seems that even sex-scandels are at the mercy of the recession:

'The News of the World had offered Miss Whiplish originally £25,000 for her story on Mosley, but ended up giving her £12,500, blaming the credit crunch'.

Who'd have thought?!

A Monsoon, Good Film and a Rabbit

Most peculiar day. After leaving a friend for lunch, I was just crossing at Oxford Circus towards Hamley's, when a rabbit hopped across the main crossing, which made me feel slightly Alice in Wonderland, until it went under a red bus, then it hopped away, towards H & M. I continued walking down Regent Street in the English Monsoon ( as reported in the paper yesterday ), and back to the tube when my umbrella snapped, just gave up , and was getting completely soaked. So whenI I saw the Odeon in Leicester Square, I dashed in for cover, and ended up seeing Gone Baby Gone. I had wanted to see it after friend recommended it. It was a pretty gut wrenching about a little girl that is abducted, similar to the Madeleine McCann story, really dark, but very thoughtful and well worth watching.

The real life behind 'The Holiday'

Christmassy-feel-good film 'The Holiday' featuring Cam, Kate,
Jack and Jude, filmed in Surrey / LA.

Picture post-card Surrey - Kate Winslet's cottage - who is
a journalist on those mysterious 'Carrie Bradshaw' wages

LA babe Cam does a house swap to the UK and ends
up straight away in Kate's bed - could it get any cosier!?

Apparently so! Look you have to be a small English woman to get in that tub.

The real Surrey vs Hollywood Surrey
I absolutely adored this film, it was a complete fantasy about what LA and London/English living is like. It takes two of my fav actresses out there today, Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet, and sets them up as newly single and in desperate need to escape their exes for a 'holiday'. The two just happen to find each other on the net, agree to swap their homes for Christmas, and well, we just sit back and enjoy the unfolding Hollywood drama. Cameron Diaz ends up in deepest Surrey - filmed in parts of Goldaming and Shere - and Kate Winslet in LA. It is really fun watching them adapt to their new lifestyles and struggle with their new homes. Look above at Cameron decked in hat and scarf, her sunny LA bones freezing to death in Kate's oldy worldy cottage, she resorts to taking numerous long soaks in some sort of tin tub. I bet the set-dresser had good time on this film, it looks so pretty, and I can just see the brief for Kate's house - shabby-bohemian-chic- everything says cosy ! Plus she has wonderful neighbours, a lovely local pub and Jude Law just hanging about.  My friend and I explored the town of Shere ( a month back ) and around Surrey yesterday - you can certainly recognise parts of the film. Apparently the rural idyll of Kate's was built especially for film, then torn down. I was quite sad to read this, just goes to show that even with all the lovely properties in Surrey, they are just not 'picture-perfect' enough for 'Hollywood'.

Would someone swap their LA Mansion for my room in London?

Now, I am not sure if this is on the back of the film, but there is a real-life UK-USA house-swap. The 'visitbritain' site tells Americans that perhaps you can find your 'own charming cottage' in England with a property swap like in the movie 'Holiday' . So I started thinking perhaps some fab rich American woman would like to swap with my characterful flat-share in London for her dreamy US home. Of course she wouldn't dupe me back and I end up in Missouri with a bunch of Mormons . .

Where's Pete been since he left Kate ?

Tragic way to make ends meet for former boyfriend of Kate Moss

Strolling through the rural Surrey countryside on Sunday, I saw a shocking and saddening sight in an idyllic cottage garden. The photo above documents the even further decline of talented Babyshambles singer Pete Doherty. Since splitting with supermodel millionairess Kate Moss, he has dropped out the media spotlight and now cuts a sad figure among beanstalks, a washing line and some broken gnomes. Forced to make make ends meet by 'scarecrowing' he looks resigned to his fate; protecting a small vegetable plot and flowers. Perhaps this will give Pete the quality 'alone' time to think through his life, though we hope he does not get attacked by any more scrawny birds.